Caleb Leblanc | Nine
Don't you go telling me tales of my fidelity.
Once again, hope I die for the last time.
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(Source: vast-as-the-night-sky)
Phillip almost couldn’t believe it-well he could, but he was unsure if it would happen anytime soon. Here he was, walking to the Medial. He had avoided it for so long… They had decided to meet up, and he felt his stomach doing flips. Aside from being enraged at the fuck who practically tortured his former lover, he tried to quell those feelings. Phillip should have been ecstatic, but instead he was nervous, angry, and unsure. He had agreed to this and even set up this meeting.
Caleb had made a point, he never had to choose between them. Those feelings of choosing may have resulted from not telling his son about his relationship, and allowing everything to fall apart. It had been his fault. Then he left his lover, but managed to patch things up with Declan. And in his absence someone had hurt Caleb. His hands balled into fists, all the anger was now directed to himself again. He ceased walking and stood still for a moment to collect himself. Showing up upset and angry was not what he wanted to do. He wanted to hug his lover, apologize, tell him everything would be okay. They’d find a way to help him rise… They’d have to. How could he spend eternity like that?
He finally reached the Medial in what felt like early afternoon. Finding a bench to rest on in the square, he sat down and waited. His nerves still wouldn’t calm down. Leaning forward he rested his head on his hands, trying to take deep breaths, awaiting Caleb’s arrival.
How long had it been since he had been without the presence of his older partner? Caleb could not recall. Time continued to be something that was not easy to get used to in the after life, the days seeming to blend seamlessly together while all at the same time seeming to also drag on forever. It was a nightmare to figure out how long one had even been dead, especially if one was interested in knowing it by Earth time versus After Life time or rather “time”.
Caleb rubbed the palm of his hands against his trousers once again, seeming to repeat this action quite often since beginning his long walk towards the Medial. It was clear to him that the heat was not the cause of the clamminess that had became his palms either but instead it was simply nerves, nerves that wouldn’t subside even when he pushed away the worries in his head and replaced them with happy memories of Phillip and himself. No, the happiness made his nerves just as bad, reminding him that that happiness could easily not come back with a simple word or turn of foot. Something he definitely hoped to avoid through out the day or preferably forever more.
Deep breathing exercises repeated through out his young mind as he tried to keep himself calm and collected, eyes locked ahead on the buildings as the grew nearer and nearer with each step.
Once reaching the Medial he made his way quickly to the common square where they had met many times before. His palms rubbed against his pants once more, mouth seeming to fill with saliva as he forced it down in a loud gulp, and there he was.
Phillip sat only steps away, facing him but not looking in his direction just yet. Caleb opened his mouth to call out to the man but found no voice to speak with. He closed his eyes, stopping in his tracks to take a long, deep breath before opening his mouth once more and calling out. “H-hey!” he managed after a moment of gathering himself, pushing his courage forward. His hand raised, a small wave meeting with the greeting as a nervous smile adorned his young face.
I do have a hunch as to why I am down here… I don’t like to believe it’s why but… why else would I be? I want to be up there with you, Phillip. You and even… Declan…
It’s my fault though, what he did to me.. I asked for it… kind of. I needed someone..
You can be both at the same time, can’t you? I don’t… understand why it has to be one or the other, it never is with other…… families…..I don’t think you asked for someone to hurt you, Caleb, don’t say that. I want you up here with me too.. I don’t understand why you had to be stuck there..
I don’t know why but I had this feeling nagging at me, like I had to choose. But I could never make up my mind. I love both of you, and you know that. I..I told Declan, and he seemed to understand. I probably felt guilty for keeping him in the dark.
I went to him though, I deserved it. I was being stupid… and I did bad things to survive on Earth… didn’t I?
Then… does that mean things are going to change again?Aside from your..particular eating habits, I don’t know anything else that would put you there…
And yes, I think so. Change for the better, I hope.
I might have some things to tell you then… but I can tell you later… it’s not important right now.
but what does this make us then…? Are we still… uh, what do you want us to be?Ah… I don’t want to be hasty about this. Let’s go slow with it, alright?
Would you like to meet up soon to talk?
Yeah.. sure… I just hoped…
Well… nevermind, when would you like to meet up?
I do have a hunch as to why I am down here… I don’t like to believe it’s why but… why else would I be? I want to be up there with you, Phillip. You and even… Declan…
It’s my fault though, what he did to me.. I asked for it… kind of. I needed someone..
You can be both at the same time, can’t you? I don’t… understand why it has to be one or the other, it never is with other…… families…..I don’t think you asked for someone to hurt you, Caleb, don’t say that. I want you up here with me too.. I don’t understand why you had to be stuck there..
I don’t know why but I had this feeling nagging at me, like I had to choose. But I could never make up my mind. I love both of you, and you know that. I..I told Declan, and he seemed to understand. I probably felt guilty for keeping him in the dark.
I went to him though, I deserved it. I was being stupid… and I did bad things to survive on Earth… didn’t I?
Then… does that mean things are going to change again?Aside from your..particular eating habits, I don’t know anything else that would put you there…
And yes, I think so. Change for the better, I hope.
I might have some things to tell you then… but I can tell you later… it’s not important right now.
but what does this make us then…? Are we still… uh, what do you want us to be?
I do have a hunch as to why I am down here… I don’t like to believe it’s why but… why else would I be? I want to be up there with you, Phillip. You and even… Declan…
It’s my fault though, what he did to me.. I asked for it… kind of. I needed someone..
You can be both at the same time, can’t you? I don’t… understand why it has to be one or the other, it never is with other…… families…..I don’t think you asked for someone to hurt you, Caleb, don’t say that. I want you up here with me too.. I don’t understand why you had to be stuck there..
I don’t know why but I had this feeling nagging at me, like I had to choose. But I could never make up my mind. I love both of you, and you know that. I..I told Declan, and he seemed to understand. I probably felt guilty for keeping him in the dark.
I went to him though, I deserved it. I was being stupid… and I did bad things to survive on Earth… didn’t I?
Then… does that mean things are going to change again?
He did WHAT TO YOU?! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY CALEB?!
What the hell kind of messed up people are in Acheron…
I can’t talk about the logistics about our breakup now after you come to me telling me someone hurt you! I’m fucking beyond myself. I-I can’t believe…Didn’t you try to leave or get away from him?!
He did a lot of things to me, actually. It doesn’t matter though, does it? It’s over now… unless it happens again… It did work at least as a distraction from you and that is what I needed…
I would have if I could have but my hands were in cuffs until he was done… I left quickly after though… it was worse because I think he actually liked the fact that I was crying and asking to be let go.
I need you back, Phillip. I can’t do this with out you… I can’t stand it…I can’t believe someone would do that…well maybe I could, I don’t know. It is hell. I still don’t really know why you were put there though. It doesn’t make sense…
I’m not sure what to do. I had needed to take a break, to think. I know you don’t really get it, but I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing, if I had been a good father or a good lover. How could I be worth anything?
I do have a hunch as to why I am down here… I don’t like to believe it’s why but… why else would I be? I want to be up there with you, Phillip. You and even… Declan…
It’s my fault though, what he did to me.. I asked for it… kind of. I needed someone..
You can be both at the same time, can’t you? I don’t… understand why it has to be one or the other, it never is with other…… families…..
You…were with someone else?..I can overlook that for now, what I’m more concerned about is you. Did he hurt you anywhere? Is there anything I can do?
I… I’m not sure if I can see you just yet but I don’t like to see you like this…
Over look it… but… we weren’t together… b-but yeah he hurt me practically everywhere… he even took a knife to my back, I don’t know what he did but it hurt a lot… and there was blood… b-but I am okay now… I think?
Why can’t you see me? I don’t even understand really why you left me in the first place, Phillip. I… love you…He did WHAT TO YOU?! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY CALEB?!
What the hell kind of messed up people are in Acheron…I can’t talk about the logistics about our breakup now after you come to me telling me someone hurt you! I’m fucking beyond myself. I-I can’t believe…Didn’t you try to leave or get away from him?!
He did a lot of things to me, actually. It doesn’t matter though, does it? It’s over now… unless it happens again… It did work at least as a distraction from you and that is what I needed…
I would have if I could have but my hands were in cuffs until he was done… I left quickly after though… it was worse because I think he actually liked the fact that I was crying and asking to be let go.
I need you back, Phillip. I can’t do this with out you… I can’t stand it…
I don’t know you, were loud for a while… I had to block you out…But I can’t really do it anymore.
What happened to you, what hurts?
I was upset… I’m sorry…
The man I ended up with was nothing like you, he only made it painful… really painful, all while making it extremely odd as well… and after he just pushed me away and told me not to touch him… but what hurts the most is my heart..
You…were with someone else?..I can overlook that for now, what I’m more concerned about is you. Did he hurt you anywhere? Is there anything I can do?
I… I’m not sure if I can see you just yet but I don’t like to see you like this…
Over look it… but… we weren’t together… b-but yeah he hurt me practically everywhere… he even took a knife to my back, I don’t know what he did but it hurt a lot… and there was blood… b-but I am okay now… I think?
Why can’t you see me? I don’t even understand really why you left me in the first place, Phillip. I… love you…
Please… everything is just getting worse… way worse… I forgot how cruel people could be.…Caleb?
How… What’s wrong?
You… you are really talking to me?
Well I… tried to move on from you… I think more because I was upset and a bit… angry to be quite honest but… it just… it was a really terrible experience, it only made me miss you more… it hurts…I don’t know you, were loud for a while… I had to block you out…But I can’t really do it anymore.
What happened to you, what hurts?
I was upset… I’m sorry…
The man I ended up with was nothing like you, he only made it painful… really painful, all while making it extremely odd as well… and after he just pushed me away and told me not to touch him… but what hurts the most is my heart..
Please… everything is just getting worse… way worse… I forgot how cruel people could be.…Caleb?
How… What’s wrong?
You… you are really talking to me?
Well I… tried to move on from you… I think more because I was upset and a bit… angry to be quite honest but… it just… it was a really terrible experience, it only made me miss you more… it hurts…
